::RANDOM THOUGHTS ON A LONELY NIGHT::

I miss writing.  But lately I just can't seem to find it within myself to utter anything meaningful or worth sharing. Life has become really really dull as of late, and I'm not sure how.  As with many bloggers I need to feel inspired, and right now inspiration for me is synonymous with a big fat NOTHING.

Life before a month and a half ago was warm, sunny, and welcoming.  Life then was home - my beloved Raleigh, North Carolina.  As I'm sitting here writing this, my heart aches to know what my parents are doing, what my two dear nephews have been learning lately, and how my sweet American Eskimo, Yuki, is doing.  My Dad is probably watching the news on the Vietnamese channel and nodding off in his favorite recliner in the basement... That chair always makes him look so small, almost like a child.  Standing 5'4" and having reached 67 years of age, his used-to-be strong good looks has definitely paid heavy dues to life's tough challenges.  I imagine my Mom already in bed, probably thinking about her children, probably mostly me.  She's been battling with chronic back pain for decades, and finally had surgery 3 weeks ago.  She calls me everyday sometimes just to say that she's thinking about me.  Why I'm tearing up now as I realize this and didn't in the moment she called, I'm not sure. I miss her so much...I think I will call her later to tell her that.

Life now happens here in Chicago, Illinois, the Windy City, where it's winter 5 months out of the year.  Temperature has been steadily in the 20's and 30's, some days with rain, some days with snow, and almost everyday with the kind of wind that feels like a thousand needles poking at your flesh.  Having lived in Vietnam and North Carolina all my life, this calls for a major adjustment to say the least, and I've been struggling with exactly that since January 28, 2011.  Having said that, Chicago is truly a great city.  I've got to spend only so much time getting to know its culture and history, but I can see how so many people appreciate living here despite its harsh winters.  I can only hope that when Spring comes, so will a sense of hope and a change of heart in me.  I'm having a hard time, but I'm learning to see things in a positive light.  My apartment sits on the 8th floor of a mid-rise building in the heart of Gold Coast, so it gives me a pretty intimate view of Chicagoland.   I have, however, been keeping my blinds closed.

Maybe it's time for me to open them.  But first, I will call my Mom.

 

Comments

[Natalie Smith]

Embrace the changes in your life. It's not that easy to adapt to a new environment, I know, but you have to give it a shot.

Cheers,
Natalie about american eskimo from http://www.trainpetdog.com/American-Eskimo/about-american-eskimo.html

[Anastasia]

It's not always easy to adapt to changes - whatever these may be: a new house, a new city, a new lifestyle. I was 18 when I left my sunny island for Geneva, Switzerland. It took me months to get used to the cold weather and to having dinner at 6:30 pm!! There was no tea time at the Youth Hostel where I lived and it always snowed in winter. I had to learn to cook and do my own laundy... But I always see a silver lining in every cloud, so I decided to see things in a positive light and this helped a lot. Eight years later, Switzerland had already become my second homeland.